At the top of the bridge, teetering
I have a recurring nightmare where I have to drive a car (I don’t drive) up a very high, narrow bridge over a chasm. I have never reached the top of the curve as I always wake myself up in panic before then.
This year has felt a bit like that nightmare, but here we are, at the pinnacle of the year, staring at the race down to the end. I’m not asleep, but maybe I should be?
I don’t know why the middle of the year fills me with such panic - i suppose it’s partly because I’m frustrated by how little I’ve achieved, and how little time I have left to do anything before the year is over.
But this time I’m going to look at what I have done so far. Maybe it’ll help the panic recede a bit.
The First Six Months
wrote three poems (sold one.)
wrote seven short pieces ranging from 1 000 to 14 000 words.
had two stories appear in print; Godskin in Strange Horizons and Sea Gift in ParSec.
have a short story appearing in Nova Scotia Vol. 2, a showcase of the best of Scottish SFFH writers, coming from Luna Press.
have three uncompleted shorts (there’s a chance I’ll come back to them when the time is right - my short A Bright Sting and Sweet is one I started a decade ago, holding the idea of it in my stomach like a bee I had swallowed, and I was only ready to finish it this year.)
An audio edition of Cast Long Shadows is in the works and should be out later this year.
wrote and published (twice) a non fiction piece about writing with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.
Have attended Cymera, run a panel, will be on another panel this weekend for the British Fantasy Society, and put my name forward for panels at WorldCon. More details of Saturday’s panel (July 6) over here.
And you know what? That’s okay.
I made the decision not to work on any novels this year, and it’s been good for me to get out of the headspace of feeling like I’m working on something that takes so much mental time and effort, with so little chance of reward. Hopefully I’ll come back to my novel edits in a far better place.
What I’ve Learned About Writing Shorts This Time
I started off writing short fiction. My first sales were to (sadly defunct magazines) Something Wicked and Jabberwocky, and the elder gods know I am now a better writer.
After I sold my first novel, I wrote shorts only sporadically - I had latched onto the idea that now I was going to be a novelist — al my time and effort and ideas needed to go into novels. This was my career, after all.
The problem with publishing is that it doesn’t care what you want, and after Beastkeeper, I went through a long period of no one wanting what I had written. Deflating, but sadly, not a huge surprise for anyone who has been writing for a while. Very few debut writers ever sell another book, even less sell a third, and so on.
Some smaller presses took a chance on my work, and when Cast Long Shadows made the British Fantasy Award shortlist, I had hopes again. But alas.
So I turned my back on the long form for a bit, and remembered what it was like to just play. I set myself a monthly prompt, and …didn’t always follow it.
I reminded myself that it’s okay to write intensely about the things that make only me happy. I didn’t need to be commercial, or appeal to an agent or an editor. Because while it’s awesome to sell a piece, my value wasn’t hinging on my success as a short story writer.
I’ve learned that my writing is strongest when I hone in on the things that obsess me: on transformation, on myth, on weirdness, on parasitical relationships, on water, on ripeness. My stories may not appeal to a wide audience, but they hit the notes I want to hit.
What I’m Reading
I’m still working my way (very slowly) through the Hugo’s packet, but I’m also reading an ARC of Gallus, the anthology of the Glasgow SF Writers Circle that’s coming out for WorldCon. (I’ve seen a sneak peak of the cover and it is GLORIOUS, with art by the incredible Jenni Couts, who also did the Nova Scotia Vol 2 cover at the top.)
Today is the launch day for Xan Van Rooyen’s aetherpunk novella Waypoint Seven, which I’m currently reading, and it’s a beautiful blend of science fiction and magic, with found family and a scrappy bunch of characters to fall in love with.
Cover art is by Stephen Embleton, and you can read more about Xan’s novella at Mirari Press.
July Short Story Prompt
And here we finally are. Every month I’ve been sharing a prompt for a short piece, be it flash fiction, poem, longer piece — whatever takes your fancy.
This month is genreblender.
Take a story you know super well - be it a fairy tale, a film, a book - and genre flip it, fudge the edges, shift the characters, the setting.
Make Goldilocks into a heist, turn the bears into pirates, turn goldilocks into a computer. I mean really mess with the original until it ...uh...bears...no resemblance.
Basically, play a game of What If.
Have fun, go wild.