Not The Little Mermaid
Heya
So, some of you may know that I do love to write fairy tale retellings.
Okay, rephrase: I like to massacre fairy and folk tale retellings. Mostly because so many tales bug me for many reasons, but also because I’d be a liar if I were to tell you I was not in love with the imagery of them all. I’m kinda obsessed.
I’ve written very twisted versions of Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, The Tinderbox, The Juniper Tree, Rapunzel, The Twa Sisters and others. I’ve been working on a poem about the Wild Swans for over a year (yeah yeah, I’m slow ;) ) and I have bits and pieces of various retellings all over the place.
So how do you feel about a bit of Little Mermaid murder?
OF COURSE YOU WANT IT, YOU ARE MY PEOPLE
When we drown them, we drown them good.
Landwalkers think we don’t know what we’re doing when we drag them under. I know I know, you’re all the same — thinking that we fall in love with your pretty little princeling faces and we take you down into the deep to keep you like lovers. Ow. Stop struggling so, you’re making this harder than it has to be.
Sorry, what was I saying — yeah, oh yeah, like you think like we’re dumb as fish, or like, maybe if you’re feeling generous, you think we’re maybe as smart as a dolphin. And let me tell you that’s just offensive. Dolphins are really shits, anyway. Malevolent little fuckers. But it’s not true. I’m as smart as you, boy. Smarter, maybe.
See here, under the water we are fast as fury, we sing so sweet we can make your ears bleed - I’ll bite you if you try that again, boy. I’ll bite hard, I’ll rip your throat out and then it’s over. I’ve tasted human meat before, don’t think I haven't. It’s not my favourite, understand, but don’t push me. Not if you want to die slow and pretend like you still have a chance. If I decide you’re too much trouble, I’ll end it now. Don’t you want longer than that? Of course you do.
You’re drowning? Of course you’re bloody drowning. Stop thrashing like that, what do you think you are - a fish-boy? You’re not going anywhere doing that. This is a one-way trip, baby, as my boss likes to say.
Shh, you’re not listening.
I’ll put my hand over your mouth, like so. Bubbles are just air, you understand. You gotta let go of air, of land. You’ve got to stop thinking like a land-thing, with your screaming, and your flailing.
That’s not how you swim.
Good, you’re still. Now that I like. Stay calm, let yourself drown. It’s easier this way. You’ve got a minute or two to listen, it’ll do you some good, keeping quiet for a while. Could do the whole bloody lot of you some good. Like that will ever happen.
You’re pretty like this, with your eyes all wide, and your hair flowing up like seaweed. If it were daytime, it would be even more beautiful, the golden shafts of light, the sun on the water. I can almost see what the stories are about, though don’t go thinking I like you or anything like that. We barely know each other.
It’s just like this, yeah, I can almost see it. The stories are still stupid, understand, and you’re not going to get me to save you, and fall in love, and give up my voice and my hair and my everything for a stupid landwalker.
If I take my hand away, you going to start screaming again? Good. Good. I can see we’ve got ourselves an understanding.
Okay, I’ll do it slow. There. No sudden movement bang bang you’re dead. You like that? It’s a joke. I mean, you’re dead anyway. Good to see you can listen, though. Makes me think there’s hope for your lot yet. Okay, hold my hands, yes, like that. Tight, don’t let go. There are things here in the dark worse than me.
Scared you, huh? Don’t worry, you’re safe with me. That’s another joke. I’m a regular comedienne, princeling.
You’re doing good. I mean, you can hold me closer if you like. You can’t hurt me down here, and we’re going deep. Oh boy, we’re going deep. There’s something down there you have to see.
Hot little things, aren’t you? It’s strange. I mean, my boss talks about drowning you landwalkers all the time, how sweet it is when you give in, when you cling to us because there’s nothing else left in the dark for you, but she never told me you’d be so hot. Like holding onto the sun. I only got to practice with the dead ones, or the close to dead ones. They’ve gone mostly still and cold by then, so this is totally a new experience for me.
Put your arms around me, then you won’t shiver so much.
It’s okay, baby, you can let it out, let it all out. There, watch. You gotta look up. That’s your last breath. It’s like stars. I’ve seen the stars. Have you? Of course you have, what am I saying. I saw you fall. You could say that’s why I picked you. The boy who fell from the stars, I thought, yeah, you’d appreciate what I have to show you.
I love the stars. On the darkest nights, I swim right up and sit on the rocks. Yeah, those ones, the ones where I found you. We’re like, totally territorial. Anyway, I like to sit there, and watch the stars, and sing to them. You guys have it good, princeling, I mean, the whole stars, all the heavens like a reflection of the ocean. You have the land and the sky, and sometimes you think you have the sea.
You don’t, of course, you get that now. But the skies — you have them all. I see the rockets. Those are my favourites. Launches, when the whole night turns to day and the ships go up into the stars.
Hold tight. It’s okay. That’s how this is supposed to go. Did you go up in one of those big rocket ships? You did, that’s so swim. I wonder if the stars are like giant anemones, and if they pull all the little spaceships to them like tiny fish, and pick them clean, suck them out all empty-like, then let them go.
I wonder if going to the stars is like drowning.
You’re almost there, you know?
I mean, I guess you do.
It’s okay, it’s not going to hurt. Not like getting caught in a net and having your throat slit, your belly opened with a knife and all your guts pulled out. They did that to my sister, you know? Oh. I guess you don’t.
It’s not personal, really. I mean, I figured you weren’t them. The ones that did it. And I guess it’s all instinct and stuff, like, they were just doing what they know, and I’m doing what I know. We gotta do the things we’re good at.
I could kiss you, turn you, make you breathe sweet water and fly under the oceans all the way to the stars. Bam. Another joke. You looked excited there for a moment. It changed your face. Your eyes all full of hope. It was kinda sad, really. No more jokes. I won’t do that to you again. I’m not cruel.
Anyway, it’s nonsense, really. No one does it. But there are stories, and well, I like stories, believe it or not. There was a time I thought I was going to be a teller, and make up new stories and people were going to shower me with cowries and Spanish gold and everyone was going to know my name. It didn’t happen like that, of course, so I got this job, and you know, it’s lonely work, drowning, but this my first solo kill and I think I’m going to be good at it, build myself a nice little career. Anyway, stories, sorry, we’ve so little time and here I am going on about me.
You know the big one, of course, everyone does. Where she sees her princeling boy and saves him and does all the gooey stuff and gives up her everything just to be with this idiot who doesn’t even care that she exists. It’s so stupid, I don’t understand why everyone loves it. Even you landwalkers, and that’s just some sick shit, thinking it’s so tragic and beautiful and stuff when all it’s about is some poor girl who completely denies herself for a boy. Dumb as shit. I mean, a little bit romantic, if you’re beached and suffering from sunstroke, maybe. A little. I used to like it when I was a kid, to tell the truth. But she dies in the end and no way am I dying for a sorry little landwalker like you.
Are you scared yet? Are you beyond scared? I wish you could talk. It so stupid, I guess I’ve taken your voice away. Kinda funny, huh?
No. I guess not.
You can’t even whisper or scream or anything. This is how it goes - when we drown them, we drown them good. That’s what my boss says. It’s like the company slogan or something. And she does it well. I mean, I learned from the best.
I told you this was my first solo drowning, right. Yeah, yeah I did.
You’ve gone so cold, this far from the sun. But it’s okay, there’s something I want to show you. You’ll like this, I’ll hold you tight all through the dark. We’re almost there. You ready? Look down.
How swim is that, princeling? You can see the stars.
Thought you’d like that.
I could still kiss you. If I wanted to.
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